One morning down at Brighton, I was walking by the sea
An old man full of gin, by accident fell in
He called on me to save him, just to bring him safe to land
And said, 'I will reward you, you shall have my daughter's hand
I said, 'All right, here goes.' Then loosened all my clothes.

Chorus: Then I took my coat and vest off, and I think I took the rest off
For I meant to dive in, like an earnest grafter
I took one glance at his daughter, then I shouted in the water
'Not today, nor tomorrow, or the day after.

I once worked in a factory where dynamite was made
And very strange to say I worked hard all the day
Until I dropped a red hot spark into the magazine
The gaffer, who was standing by, has never since been seen
A bloke came rushing back, and said, 'You'll get the sack.'

Chorus: Then he acted as he oughtn't, and grew suddenly important
As he read the rules 'gainst smoking - every chapter
I said, 'You must not attack me,
Because he won't be back to sack me
Not today, Nor tomorrow, or the day after.

I used to be a sailor, I use better language now
But once whilst hoisting slacks, we fell amongst some blacks
The bosun was a big stout chap, weighed nearly twenty stone
And he and I were bunged inside a dungeon, on our own
His big fat form I viewed, whilst lumps of shag he chewed.

Chorus: Then Jack Sheppard he was aping, he said, 'Now for escaping
I shall crawl right through that crack that's in the rafter.'
I took one glance at his tummy, and I said,
'With that, Lord lummy,
Not today, Nor tomorrow, or the day after.
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