I've just been informed by the Manager here
That the reason I'm back at the Empire this year
Is because it states on my contract quite clear
I must sing a song with a chorus
I've found one at last, it's a terrible thing
But still it must go with a rush and a swing
So when I've sung it once for goodness sake sing
And bring down the roof that is o'er us
If the song doesn't go well, I do, that's all
So here, and outside, this chorus, please bawl.

Chorus: O, O, Capital O. Why it should be so, I really don't know
O, O, Now let it go. If you don't know the chorus sing O, O, O.

Did you ever hear such rot in your life
I've more trouble with this than I have with my wife
I've been chased round the town by a man with a knife
Who's balmy through singing this chorus
The words they are putrid, the metre's all wrong
And it gets a lot worse too as we go along
So please leave the hall if your heart is not strong
It gets on your nerves does the chorus
In case you've forgotten the haunting refrain
I'll chance being shot and sing it again.


The Manager's tearing his hair at the side
And saying, 'Come off,' but I shan't move a stride
By the clause in my contract he'll have to abide
I'm singing a song with a chorus
He's bet me a quid I forget the last verse
But I think that he'll have to dive down in his purse
The song's bad enough but singing its worse
I'm stuck, i've forgotten the chorus
If I don't sing it right it's a quid off my screw
So please let it rip, and perhaps I'll pull through.

Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
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