Our little family's awfully poor - it fairly takes the palm
I always seem to have father's trousers underneath my arm
I have to pawn 'em to raise the L.S.D.
And 'Uncle' at the pawn shop is awfully fond of me
My father's found it out - it fills him with delight
He says, 'Keep on courting him.' and shouts with all his might

Chorus: 'Oh Amelia, you're going to save the home
Make him pop the question do
'Uncle' is awfully fond of you
You're the only one that we depend upon
Make a fuss, remember us, and marry your uncle John.'

Mother says, 'If you can capture him, we'll pay the rent we owe
We can look after the shop whlie on your honeymoon you go
Wake up, Amelia, for it's our only chance
Make him pop the question , when popping your father's pants
It won't be very long, his age is ninety-two
So think of all the family, now there's a darling, do.'


Every time I take 'em in he treats me very nice
Tickles me under the chin, and always gives me any price
Ma's so delighted, she thinks our fortune's made
Says, 'You must be quick dear, or I'm very much afraid
Poor father's pantaloons are getting very worn
And if they fall to pieces, why, our only hopes are gone!'

Written and composed by Fred Murray & C.E. Hilbury - 1906
Performed by Vesta Victoria (1874-1951)
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