You haven't seen me lately, I've been stopping out of town
For a week beside the briny, with the kids and Mister Brown
It was eight days for a dollar, third return and special fast
It's the first time as we've been there, I'm certain it's the last
We'd saved up thirty shillings, so I'd thought we'd cash to spare
Although the money shrunk a bit when we brassed up the fare
But I started 'All Sir Garnet' with my husband, Flo and Bert
And with one pound ten in bullion sewed inside his undershirt.

Chorus: It was splendid up to Wednesday, we could go upon the pier
Have a quarter dozen oysters, pay three ha'pence for our beer
And even have a tanner sail, although it makes you queer
We was absolutely Rothchilds up to then
But on Thursday, when I reckoned up the money we had spent
We had to draw our horns in, 'cos we'd hardly got a cent
We'd three days pleasure yet to find on fourpence and the rent
That's a 'oliday on one pound ten.

We started in a handsome, and it made the porters stare
'Cos Brown had to undress himself to pay the man his fare
I saw the luggage in the brake, and tipped the guard with pride
I said, 'You'll know our box again, there's 'Sunlight' on the side.'
At last we got to Yarmouth, and for lodgings had to hunt
And got two little parlours for eight shillings on the front
But oh, Great Scott! next morning somewhere else we had to seek
We found they meant eight bob a night, and not eight bob a week.

Chorus: It was scrumptious on Tuesday to the bathing place to roam
'Parker' out a tanner for a plunge into the foam
There's such a lot of elbow room to what you get at home
When you dabble in a basin now and then
But on Friday we was like the beach, quite stoney, dull and flat
And I tried to get some ha'pence, though my heart went pit-a-pat
While the negroes wasn't looking, well, I went round with a hat
That's a 'oliday on one pound ten.

The lodgings that we got at last seemed very dear to me
It was two miles and an omnibus before you smelt the sea
We used to pass the time away in fishing for a dab
Or getting up a cock fight with a mussel and a crab
On Saturday our landlord said he'd take us into court
Because he brought us up the bill, and I was tuppence short
So Brown took off his pantaloons and popped them up the spout
And wore his six-three bathing drawers each time that he went out.

Chorus: It was nobby on the Wednesday, you could see me in my silks
Buying Brown a plate of cockles, and myself a plate of whelks
And we fed the kids on Hokey, and a dozen buns and milks
Why, we squandered half a dollar there and then
But on Sunday, when we started for the station in the morn
We missed the railways tickets, and remembered where they'd gone
Brown had put em in his trousers, and his trousers was in pawn
That's a 'oliday on one pound ten.
Written and composed by Edgar Bateman & George Le Brunn
Performed by Vesta Victoria (1874-1951)
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