When I was young I received a snub
I used to live at a certain pub
Where the landlord wouldn't find me grub
With out I paid for it
So I joined a corps under Colonel Wood
When fighting commenced at the rear I stood
So he gave me a medal for being no good
But I don't care a bit.

Chorus: I'm one of the soldiers, one of the soldiers
One of the boys who's always faithful to the corp
One of the soldiers, one of the soldiers
Who're ordered to the front to tickle the Boer.

I joined the navy in '64
And when the vessel was sent to war
I hid behind the cabin door
Not caring for a fight
The captain heard of my whereabouts
With regard to my pluck he has had no doubt
From the Navy they instantly hooted me out
But I didn't care a mite.


I joined the p'lice and they liked my size
On cooks and slaveys I kept my eyes
And when they wanted business lies
I couldn't tell a cram
So they mounted me on a fiery horse
Which bolted - I never got killed, of course
But I managed to live and get out of the force
So I didn't care a hang.
Performed by Mark Sheridan (1867-1918)
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