Now down our way we've formed a sort of small Dramatic Club
And amateur theatricals we play
Well, that's better than to mooch about and hang outside a pub
Not only that we make the business pay
We charge a penny entrance fee and two pence for the stalls
And Mickey Brown 'e knows the way to act
For when 'e's played King 'enry and the curtain on 'im falls
The people pull the 'ouse down - it's a fact.

Chorus: At our Dramatic Club, at our Dramatic Club
And when 'e's playing 'Amlet, come and see
'E does it to the letter, and no man could do it better
If it wasn't for the likes o' Beerbohm Tree.

We got a stock of scenery, which we bought at great expense
From the man what draws the pictures in the street
I pinched the wife's old clothes horse to form a rustic fence
And some waddin' for a snowstorm does a treat
We play a drama nightly and a farce with great success
The fancies of our patrons never shirk
Just send a Pickford's van for the opinions of the Press
If things go on like this we'll give up work.

Chorus: At our Dramatic Club, at our Dramatic Club
To beat the show I know you never can't
Our company's the strongest and our plays would run the longest
If it wasn't for the likes of Charlie's Aunt.

We play the whole of Shakespeare, though I think it's tommy rot
But mind you that's the stuff that always goes
Of course we've touched it up a bit and altered it a lot
They'll be a row if Mister Shakespeare knows
But mind you, though I tell yer this, we've got plays of our own
Bill Grogs the dustman writes them nice and clear
'E'll write yer yards of tragedies if you leave him all alone
And only keep 'im well supplied with beer.

Chorus: At our Dramatic Club, at our Dramatic Club
'E seems to suit the public's funny whims
There ain't a playwrite livin' as could write a drama wiv 'im
If it wasn't for the likes of Georgie Simms.
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
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