Patching The Seats Of The Mighty

PATCHING UP THE SEATS OF THE MIGHTY

I'll lay a dollar you've seen me about, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
I'll lay a dollar you've heard me shout, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
I go round to the West End houses,
'While you wait' I patch up their trousers
Here's a pair I've got to sew. They belong to Orkard Joe
Look as if they've been in the wars
Well, you see, he's been sitting on bores.

Chorus: Whoa! the pants of the mighty! their wear and tear is great
Whoa! the pants of the mighty ! I mend them while you wait
It's strange - but oh! they seem to go around the lignum vitae
And I earn my bread with needle and thread,
Patching the seats of the mighty.

There was a girl in the West End, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
Who brought me a pair of bags to mend, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
'Master's been away,' said the tartlett
'P'r'aps you know him - Dashme Cartlett
Wasn't he fond of turkey - just. Till one very nearly got him trussed
They're his pants, and if you want peace
Please wipe out that spot of grease.'

Chorus:

Lately a slavey who heard me shout, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
Fetched me a pair of sydenhams out, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
'I've given 'em Dunn,' sez cookie
For my guv'nor, a well known bookie
Didn't cost much? Oh yes they did, not long ago they cost him a quid
No! it wasn't a miss in baulk
That's where they got pecked by a Hawk.'

Chorus:

T'other day, quite by the merest chance, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
A butler brought me a pair of pants, Old Clo'! Old Clo'!
'Pon my word they did look shabby
Well, you see they belonged to Blabby
Said the butler, 'Do what you will he's got a seat but he won't sit still
Doctor 'em up - for truth to state
Blabby's been Harrissed a deal of late.'

Chorus:

Written and composed by Charles Osborne - 1897

Performed by Herbert Campbell (1844-1904)