In the Spring
Inside, the house was turned all upside down.
Ma made you
Help her to
Put our new house in order up in town.
You tried to lay out the carpet there's no doubt,
But mother let the hammer slip and laid you out.

Chorus: Poor old Pa!
When you're made to go 'shopping with ma,
Packed with parcels, though you're a man,
You look more like a Pickford's van.
Poor old Pa!
For years you have wanted a car.
Your new Rolls from the makers
You'll get - yes, from the bakers!
Poor old Pa!

Repeat Chorus: Poor old Pa!
At a music hall when you're with ma,
You've to use, if it's a revue,
Op'ra glasses you can't see through.
Poor old Pa!
When girls smile and sing, "Tra-la-la"
If ma finds they are 'winkers',
She makes you go in 'blinkers'
Poor old Pa!

Down at the office-you know what I mean.
I think you
Have a few
When at the club where you cannot be seen.
You get a welcome whenever there you roam;
Mother gives you one as well when you get home.

Chorus: Poor old Pa!
You're a first-turn and mother's the star'.
Ev'ry Sunday to ma you cry,
"Can I watch the buses go by?"
Poor old Pa!
On your face no doubt there's a scar,
Since mother, who's observant,
Found you kissing the servant,
Poor old Pa!

Repeat Chorus: Poor old Pa!
You're a nobody when you're with ma,
Ev'ry year you've one chance to speak,
That's when she's away for a week
Poor old Pa!
To Brighton we all go with ma,
But you've to stay with Mary
And help bath the canary.
Poor old Pa!

Written and composed by Arthur Martyn & Sam Mayo - 1922
Performed by Sam Mayo (1875-1938)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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