If you want to earn a livin' an' you ain't in search of fame
You can only be successful if you're A.1. at the game
You must dodge the bloke in blue unless you wants a week in quod
An' yer mustn't 'ave no truck wi' them as comes it on the nod
Since my capital's been limited, I've ceased to make a book
An' though my faith in 'uman nature 'as been often shook
I'm a goin' to see if I can't make the good old bizness pay
And my props is just abustin' for ter come a-crost a Jay

Three little cards, them uns for me
This for you, kindly mark the spot
It's odds agin 'is nibs, you've lost I cop the dibs
Well, that's the only chance the old man's got

If the public don't take kindly ter my little rule of three
Why I let's 'em 'ave a flutter for ter win their L.s.d.
I ignores the vulgar mob, an' if I only spots a toff
It's five, ten, or a golding suv'rin as I pulls it off
I addresses 'im perlitely as 'yer wuship' or 'yer grace'
'I'm a-goin' ter fill this purse,' I sez 'afore yer 'ansome face'
An' I'll let yer 'ave the lot for say a quarter of it's worth
Cos I knows I'm doin' bizness with a gent o' noble birth'

One little purse, 'ere's a arf crown
An' another, a bob the lot
A bargain fair an' square! Wot! only tuppence there?
Well, that's the only chance the old man's got

If the artful fakes I've showed yer should turn aht a trifle stale
There is still one other little dodge I've seldom known ter fail
You inspires a cove wiv confidence, it ain't an easy trick
An' it very much depends upon the mug yer chance ter pick
Yer must flash a roll of flimsies with a careless sort of air
Then yer tells 'im as yer trusts 'im an' you'll leave 'em in 'is care
You're a-goin' ter make a call, an' don't like cartin' 'em abaht
You come back agin an' arsts 'im for ter trot 'is money aht

Just for ter show 'is confidence, yer know
Keep on kiddin' till 'is 'oof you've got
Then yer does a 'guy', an' if yer 'arsts me why?
Well, that's the only chance the old man's got.
PDF Sheet Music
Words an music by Albert Chevalier & Alfred H. West - 1896
Performed by Albert Chevalier ( 1861-1923)
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