Chorus: Reflecting on the past, I really cannot understand,
How such an awful flat as that I ever could have been.
From first to last, though all she did was underhand,
I through that artificial party surely might have seen.

Her calling was a servant gal,
I've mentioned that her name was Sal,
And although as a menial
She held a situation.
Ere long her lover I had been,
I found out, though I was so green,
She was as proud as any queen,
And far above her station.

Chorus:

I took her to Cremorne one night,
I paid to show her every sight,
And she appeared delighted quite,
While walking all about the grounds.
Then think how she ill-treated me!
How shamefully she cheated me!
She bothered and entreated me,
Until I lent her twenty pounds.

Chorus:

Now comes the real affecting part;
I found that she'd bestow'd her heart
Upon a chap as drove a cart,
Along the streets it jolted.
He served in a butcher's shop,
Into the cart I saw her pop.
And while I madly hollowed, "Stop!"
Away with him she bolted.

Chorus:

I to business tried to stick,
But soon became a lunatic,
And next my living up did pick
By artifices various.
My destiny I can't escape,
Of trades I've failed in every shape,
And now by comic singing scrape
A livelihood precarious.

Chorus: