Now, I am a sexton, I once lived in Brixton
That's nothing to do with the case
For I am a sexton, I weigh over six stun'
That is if you don't weigh my face
We've got a small church where I keep all the keys
A job that I do with the greatest of ease
I also sweep all the pews out ev'ry day
And as you're all here I would just like to say,

Chorus: I mind my keys and pews
I mind my keys and pews
My pews I sweep and my keys I keep
And collect my fees and dues
I mind my keys and pews
And my job I don't want to lose
So I've got to mind my Ps and Qs
When I mind my keys and pews.

The work that I've got to get through as a sexton
Is fearfully heavy I find
And often my mind is a very perplexed 'un
So many things I've got to mind
One day at a wedding the bride waited there
But no bridegroom turned up, and so in despair
She asked me if I'd take his place instead
I looked at her face, then I said as I fled,

Written and composed by George Arthurs - 1913
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