Tho' I'm near sixty-one, I'm still fond of fun
And the ladies I love 'em, that's plain
I'm widower yes but the truth to confess,
I'm desirous of wedding again
My son he's a youngster, about twenty-five
But take it from me he don't know he's alive
I took him last week to the gardens at Kew
And there fell in love with a sweet thing in blue
She looked at my son - then at me, 'Twas love at first sight I could see

Chorus: And to please the girl I did all I could, could, could
Told her a dozen funny tales, all of them good, good, good
Then in most affectionate tones, I said, 'Will you be Mrs Jones?
And the dear little girl, with the saucy curl,
Said she would, would, would.

Being busy all day, I could not get away
And the girl, she felt lonely no doubt
So as she didn't mind, and my son being kind
He consented to take her about
I allowed him five pounds to spend on her each day
I know she's quite safe with him, he's such a jay
He'll get on first rate with his new step-mamma
Like he does with his dear old indulgent papa
I allow them to kiss, by the way, but not till I caught them one day,


Now last week she said, Dear, as the day's drawing near
When sweet Mrs Jones I shall be
You must settle five thou' on me right here and now
So what could I do but agree
But then came the blow that knocked me off my perch
The wedding bells rang and she came home from church
She said, 'I'll explain, it's no use making bones
I've quite kept my promise, I'm now Mrs Jones
Not a wife but a daughter you've won,
For this morning I married your son.


Written and composed by Bennett Scott and C. G. Cotes - 1900
Performed by George Bastow (1871-1914)
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