I dare say you are wondering why,
I'm dressed in this queer way;
Well you must know I in these clothes,
Got wed this very day.
I know I look quite happy but,
I'm miserable and ill;
The fact is this, the marriage,
Took place against my will.

Chorus: She put me under my father's hat,
And his gloves she made me wear;
She stuck in my coat, a big sunflower,
And told me I looked all there.
And when she'd got me quite complete,
Oh! wicked Jemima Burch!
She said no more but took my arm,
And trotted me off to church.


I found she'd everything prepared,
Apartments and the rest;
But what was, I must say, the worst,
She went in for the best.
To have the whole concern complete,
She was, I'm bound to say,
Considerate and thoughtful for,
All I'd to do was pay!


I've swindled been but never mind,
I'll have no more of she;
I've got some money in my clothes,
I'm off, upon a spree.
As soon as I the chance can get,
I'll change my dress and start;
For Pimlico or fair South Bank,
Or some such happy part.

Written and composed by J.S. Long & Kate Royl - 1883
Performed by James Fawn (1850-1923)
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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