From Sloshton-on-Sea, a small village divine
There came up to London Town
A rather green youth, by nature and name
To see all the sights of renown
He went the first night to a 'panto', but oh
Fell head over heels in love, you must know
With a lady who'd knocked 'em all over the show
A regular teasing young creature.

Chorus: And she was one of the forty thieves
In a Christmas pantomime
More modest, more divine
Better than all the 'thirty nine'
So thought poor little Green
But the girl knew what was what
For he tumbled shortly after
She was the artfulest thief of the lot.

When introduced, round at the stage door
They adjourned to the bar for a drink
She gave him the whisper, 'I'm awfully dry'
And then on the sly did a wink
A bottle of Cham. was soon finished and done
And number two followed up sweet number one
Green didn't mind, he thought it great fun
To be loaded with sweet love and tiddly.


She said, 'I must go,' and she went - with his purse
And his watch - a present from Ma
He found out his loss, but caught up the girl
Before she had gone very far
When he asked for his watch back she called him a scamp
And gave him a smack with her bone handled gamp
Footsore, nineteen miles home he had to tramp
With his new boots slung over his shoulder.

Performed by Arthur Lennard (1867-1954)
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