I've been wed for two years - seems more like ten
The wife has so got on my nerves
She is so jealous of me I think that she believes
Someone's poaching on her preserves
From my pound a week she takes nineteen and nine
Then she says, 'John, be careful of women and wine.'

Chorus: She's awfully jealous of me
She says that she's got every reason
Why even the song says the girls all love Jack
If I offer to go out alone she looks black
I daren't go till she's written 'sold' on my back
She's awfully jealous of me.

I know I'm good looking - but not like I was
She'd have me beneath a glass case
I feel such a fool, and to show 'em what's what
I've now started going the pace
Why only last evening I met a young miss
And I gave her two cigarette cards for a kiss

Chorus: The wife is so jealous of me
Our lodger has several daughters
I might mention here I've a nice shapely calf
And when I'm in the bathroom, no, don't make me laugh
The wife fills the keyhole with soap while I bath
She's awfully jealous of me.

When we're at the seaside it's really a scream
The way that she keeps me in check
She'll sit by the band and won't let me walk round
Unless I've a bell round me neck
I wanted a boat out - she wouldn't agree
Because someone spoke of the boat as a she.

Chorus: She's awfully jealous of me
And when I suggested mixed bathing
'Bathing? Not me John,' she said with a frown
I said, 'Well, let me,' She said, 'Don't be a clown,
You have a mixed ice, John and cool yourself down.'
My word she is jealous of me.
Written and composed by Frank Leo - 1913
Performed by Jack Pleasants (1874-1924)
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