On board the good ship 'Never Float', one cold and chilly night
The blizzards blew, the wind did wind, the moon shone out of sight
When suddenly our bosun cried, 'The ship has got the knock.'
'Great garden stuff,' the mate replied,'We're on the Colts-foot Rock'
'Make the ship lighter,' I loudly roared,
'Throw some passengers overboard.'

Chorus: And the sea was very wet
And the crew were very dry
The deck was creaking, the ship was leaking
And so was I.
We got the women and kids, then we flung them in the sea
Everybody aboard the ship was saved, but me.

The dismal thunder brightly flashed, the lightning loudly roared
The sea I saw, - then found - Oh lor, we'd got no beer aboard
The sinking vessel soon got right, and then went down again
We tied a plough behind the ship, and ploughed the angry main
They made for the lifeboats, they made for my watch
I made for the cabin, then made for some Scotch.


The steward came and whispered, 'We are on the raging foam
There's water all around us, and we're several yards from home.'
It was so dark you could not see your hand behind your back
Too late, too soon, too quick, too long
The foe are on our track.
'Sink with the vessel and save your lives'
I'll walk ashore and look after your wives.'


Performed by Tom Leamore (1866-1939)
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ