Some girls get hold of husbands that are full of energy;
And others seem to find 'em quite the opposite, you see.
I've got one of the opposites, a beauty, don't forget!
For laziness he takes the cake, the worst you ever met.
I've been married to him for just about a year;
It's like another Rip Van Winkle case.
He'll never be no better and it fair gives me the hump
To see him lolling about the place.

Chorus: Sleep! sleep! he's always got his eyes shut!
Oh, what a husband to be sure!
Night and day he'll sleep himself away;
It's no good me a-jawing, the bounder's always snoring,
Sometimes, when he gets a move on, out he goes and has a drain;
Comes in from the pub, eats up all the grub, shuts his eyes and goes to sleep again.

I shan't forget in all my life the day that we were wed,
His pals they had to go around and drag him out of bed;
They all had such a time of it because he's very stout;
You see, he wants some lifting but at last they got him out.
As we stood in the church his head began to droop,
I thought he was a-praying, 'pon my word!
You should have seen the parson when the beauty he began
The loudest snoring you ever heard!


Last week to dodge the broker's man, we had to move away,
Oh, what a lovely time I had and what a lovely day!
Found a fellow to do the job, the owner of a truck;
But when he came to do it, for a moment he was stuck.
My Jim was snoring away, the man was so annoyed;
And as he lay there like a load of bricks,
He rolled him in a blanket and he soon was gently laid
Inside the barrow among the sticks.


As things were getting serious and very hard for me,
I went and brought the doctor in from our dispensary,
When he lifted his gamp up and gave him such a dig,
Poor Jimmy didn't move but lay there like a Christmas pig;
He said with a shake of his head, 'He'll always be the same,
The only thing is, do the best you can!'
Now, here's a nice posiyion, he's alive and yet he's not,
And I can't marry another man!


Written and composed by Murray/Leigh & George Le Brunn
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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