My Valet is a stupid ass, he is, upon my word
As I leave everything to him mistakes he makes absurd
Last night there was a fancy Ball, I said to James, 'Now please
Attire me as a cavalier', he bunged me into these
Slight mistake, Slight mistake
The dancers took me for an Aunt Sally
As soon as I made my debut the girls had fits and simply through
Slight mistake on the part of my Valet.

One evening I played baccarat with Lord de Coffee Grounds
His Lordship lost a small amount, about a thousand pounds
Then said, 'I'm stoney broke, old boy, can you lend me two d?'
I sent the Valet out to change a threepenny bit for me
Slight mistake, Slight mistake
I told him to be quick and not to dally
I wanted coppers, I did grin, he brought some big fat p'liceman in
Slight mistake on the part of my Valet.

I'm very fond of pastry, er, you know the sort I mean
The puffy, not the duffy kind, with jam stuck in between
One evening feeling peckish to that stupid chap I said
'Go forth and fetch some pastry' but the silly josser made
Slight mistake, Slight mistake
He's barmy on the ladies in the ballet
I wanted tarts, it made me swear, he brought some girls with auburn hair
Slight mistake on the part of my Valet.

I stayed once at a big hotel, and said to James, my man
'Just fetch the number of my room as quickly as you can'
Somehow he made a bloomer for that night I do declare
I wandered in the rooms used by a newly married pair
Slight mistake, Slight mistake
You bet I felt a bit tral-lalli
Said I, 'Excuse me if I'm rude, I hope and trust I don't intrude
Slight mistake on the part of my Valet.

While staying with my friend the Duke down at his place in Kent
I met some doosed fine girls and a jolly time I spent
When I was leaving someone dropped my trunk, the silly lout
And all the Duke's best forks and spoons and silver plate fell out
Slight mistake, Slight mistake
The way the Duke addressed me wasn't pally
'You've got my electro plate' said he, 'What! ain't they silver? Gracious me!
Slight mistake on the part of my Valet'.
Written and composed by A.J. Mills & Bennett Scott - 1897
Performed by George Robey
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