Kind old Uncle Jeremiah Brown living in the country far away
Thought he'd give his nephews quite a real old treat
So he took them up to London for the day
When they all alighted at the station
The bustle filled those bumpkins with alarm
But gay old Uncle Brown once before had been to town
So shouted as he took them by the arm.

Chorus: 'Stick close to your Uncle Jeremiah. He knows exactly what to do
If you want to have a bit of fun
He knows where there's lots for everyone
If it's a girly sweet and curly, or a beano you require
Don't you worry over anybody else but stick to your Uncle Jeremiah.'

Uncle took those bumpkins to the Zoo
In the monkey-house they had some fun
'Gargie' went and handed to a chimpanzee
A half-an-ounce of pepper in a bun
Jeremiah couldn't move for laughter
The monkey grabbed his whiskers in a rage
Those nephews did a 'guy', and a parrot sitting nigh
To the monkey shouted from his cage,


Uncle Brown, who'd had a drink or two
Paused in Regent Street his hat to raise
To a pretty widow-lady dressed in black
(A bit of lovely modelling at 'Jays')
No one could persuade him she was wax-work
Two friendly policemen passing tried in vain
But he bet them each a drink that he saw the lady wink
Then toddled off at last to this Refrain:


Uncle Brown stooped down to tie his boot
Where some men were building up on high
All at once they went and let the steam crane down
Which hooked him up and took him to the sky
When those nephews looked round for Uncle
Poor old Jeremiah wasn't there
For that crane had got a 'bite', so he did a 'Grahame' flight
Shouting as they hauled him through the air,

Written and composed by Frank Wood/Leonard Cooke & Henry Pether - 1911
Written and performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
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