( The Football Match )
Stiffy is the best goalkeeper that ever let a ball through
They said this morning by over a hundred goals they beat us
But they never knew the man they had to deal with
'Cause we only lost by sixty-two
I guarded my goal quite contented and cool
Kept dashing about like a little mad bull
I scarcely had time to draw my breath
It's a wonder I wasn't trampled to death.
Chorus: But when Stiffy's between the sticks
When Stiffy's between the sticks He can stop any kind of ball
A football or a brandy-ball
And all the forwards say
When I'm up to my monkey tricks
'What's the use of me trying to score
When Stiffy's between the sticks.'
| (There then follows 38 lines of patter, to the effect that there is only a very small crowd watching the game and Stiffy can't stop any ball however slow, but he's cheered off the field for letting so many in.) |
Chorus: But when Stiffy's between the sticks
When Stiffy's between the sticks
He can stop any kind of ball
A football or a brandy-ball
And all the forwards say
When I'm up to my monkey tricks
'What's the use of me trying to score
When Stiffy's between the sticks.'
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