There's A Peculiar Thing

THERE'S A PECULIAR THING

Oh what a comical thing is love, it causes us lots of strife
It's easy enough for us to fall in love with another man's wife
Some men never seem pleased they're running down ma-in-law
Well I've got one of the best for I've never heard her jaw.

Chorus: There's a peculiar thing, There's a peculiar thing
My ma-in-law is my best chum
She never will jaw, she's deaf and dumb
Well there's a peculiar thing, I say there's a peculiar thing
In case anyone didn't hear what I said, I say there's a peculiar thing.

I've got a sister, her name is Maude,
But we've christened her 'Sweet Maria'
She has got oh so carroty hair you'd fancy her hair was on fire
One night she tried to dye her 'nob' with blacking and benzoline
When she woke in the morn she found her hair was a beautiful green.

Chorus: There's a peculiar thing, There's a peculiar thing
The horses and cows won't let her pass
They chew at her hair and think it's grass
Well there's a peculiar thing, I say there's a peculiar thing
To that gent who has only just come in the hall
I say there's a peculiar thing.

We've got some chickens in our back yard, and regular every morn
I go out at seven'o clock and feed 'em with Indian corn
One old hen never eats it but goes chewing up bits of wood
I fatten her up on saw-dust and it does her a deal of good.

Chorus: There's a peculiar thing, There's a peculiar thing
She doesn't lay eggs in the usual way
She lays us tables and chairs all day
Well there's a peculiar thing, I say there's a peculiar thing
To the gentleman there who is nearly asleep
I say there's a peculiar thing.

I've got a brother who lost his eye through a terrible accident
He didn't try to find it but straight off to the doctor he went
The doctor took out a tom-cat's eye and fitted it in his head
And now my brother can see without a light when he goes to bed

Chorus: There's a peculiar thing, There's a peculiar thing
He's giving us all a fearful fright
He wants to go out on the tiles at night
Well there's a peculiar thing, I say there's a peculiar thing
To the gentleman there who's reading the Star
I say there's a peculiar thing.

Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)