Now in these scientific days
It seems to be the latest craze
To make some great discovery with which to make a stir
Scientists each day will try
To solve some problem in the sky
To stop the seas from rolling or to battle with the air
They've lately solved some problems, which are absolutely great
And in this chorus some of them I'm going to relate.

Chorus: Cook and Perry found the pole, if their reports are true
Another man has also found what radium can do
To fly around up in the air they've also formed a plan
But they can't find Kelly from the Isle of Man.

(Goodness gracious me, and all those scientists, all these great detectives and great explorers, and they can't find Kelly. Why, they couldn't find how Mrs Browns' baby caught the measles. Fancy a little fellow in the Isle of Man baffling all these people and putting the whole world in - in mystery. It's ridiculous you know)

To find him they're trying hard
Why, all the force from Scotland Yard
Are searching all the country through, in hopes to bring him back
There's no mistake, he takes the cake,
For Sherlock Holmes and Sexton Blake
Have had a dozen bloodhounds, and for weeks been on the track
A big reward is offered to who finds the missing link
And certainly it's humorous when you only pause and think, that


(I should think they couldn't find him. I'll bet they haven't searched all the public houses. Ha ha. Soon find him then, eh! My word, I'll bet.... they can't find Kelly from the Isle of Man.)
Written, composed and performed by Billy Merson (1881-1947)
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