I'm a most important personage, in fact a general servant
I'm looked on as a luxury, by the lady of the house, dear me
I never give a reference, I simply state my fees
The conditions that I take a situation on are these.

Chorus: All I want is Monday off to learn the violin
Tuesday I reserve for golf, Wednesday I go out with Adolph
Thursday and Friday I visit my friends
Still duty I never would shirk
And then if I have any time to spare
I don't mind doing the work.

The master would have to treat me just as he does the missus
With just a few exceptions, though, they do just as they like, you know
I wear her dresses whenever I like, what suits her just suits me
And the master, well, mistakes occur in every family.

Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
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