THE VILLAGE CONSTABLE | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Ah, wot a moighty wicked place our village it 'ud be If 'twasn't vur the care Oi takes from crime to keep free Oi've taught 'un to respect the law since Oi've been in the force An' wot Oi sez, they 'as to do, they 'as to do, of course Oi can't 'ave that, Oi sez, Oi can't, Oi bean't agoin' to tell 'ee why An' don't 'ee try no tricks on 'cos Oi'm moighty sharp and floy Oi can't 'ave that , Oi sez, Oi can't, Ah you may stan' an' gi' Oi jaw But when I sez a thing, Oi sez, the thing Oi sez be law. They troies all koinds o' bribes wi' Oi, but Lor! Oi knows their game There's nowt Oi can't see through at once, Oi puts 'un all to shame Oi be that quick they knows wi' Oi, they don't stan' 'arf a chance Oi be a reg'lar master-piece to see things at a glance Oi can't 'ave that, Oi sez, Oi can't, I bean't agoin' to tell 'ee why An' don't 'ee try no tricks on 'cos Oi'm moighty sharp and floy Oi can't 'ave that , Oi sez, Oi can't, Ah you may stan' an' gi' Oi jaw But when I sez a thing, Oi sez, the thing Oi sez be law. It's 'ard work tho', vor Muddleston's a moighty busy place There's foive an' forty people an' they likes to go the pace But Lor! Oi've got 'un all inside, the 'oller o' my 'and They dursent call their souls their own, Oi tell 'ee as it's grand.
Oi can't 'ave that, Oi sez, Oi can't, I bean't agoin' to tell 'ee why |
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Written and composed by Albert Chevalier and Alfred H West - 1909 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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