Robson, Jobson, Wilkerson, and White
Walking down the road, at morning light
As three began to chime, they'd had a merry time
At a birthday, and felt all right
Now, Robson had struck a very bright idea
'As the last tram has gone,' said he
'I'll trust to the railings, boys, to see me back
And you can come by rail, like me.

Chorus: We all promised to go straight home
To go straight home, all the way
But you know what birthdays are
And we didn't feel particular
We all promised to go straight home
And we started, when the cocks began to crow
Singing 'Auld Lang Syne' doing the Serpentine
That's about as straight as we could go.'

They walked miles, then, met a man in blue
'Lost our way,' said White, 'A nice to do.
You look a decent sort, will you tell us, old sport
Where the deuce we are walking to?'
The p'liceman then answered, with a merry smile
'If you walk far enough, it's clear
You'll get to Australia.' Then old White replied
'That's fourteen thousand miles from here.'


Round and round the houses seemed to fly
'Stop this joy wheel,' White began to cry
'Wish I could find a cab.' And then he made a grab
At a lamp post, at it went by
A turn-cock was turning on the water main
As they all sat on the ground
Said White, 'So, it's you, then Mister What's-er-name
That's turning all the houses round.

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