I never hold a candle for folks who seem to think
It's clever talking scandal I merely nod and wink
Now there's Mr Brown, our neighbour, who's just engaged I hear
To help him in his city work a typist - such a dear.
(So sweet and neat. And she keeps on typing the whole of the day)

Now he used to come home early, to dine at any rate
Ah, but trade must be improving 'cos now he's always late
One night his wife said 'Really, your typist works a lot
But I trust she keeps on typing. Eh what-what-what-what-what!'

I know a little maiden who's always oh so coy
Does little else but blushing when talking to a boy
Oh, she's never heard of nothing, as simple as can be
But I've a sort of notion that she knows a thing or three
(You know - what oh! - and how many of her are there too, eh?)

And she's always talking baby though she'll be twenty-two
She asked her eldest sister about her honeymoon
She said 'I always wonder if they are nice or not'
But I'll bet she won't die wondering. Eh what-what-what-what-what.

I know a little maiden so merry and so gay
She's living with her mother down Epping Forest way
And all the nice young fellows who are living there about
Of course get introduced to her and want to take her out
- to walk, to talk (and very kind of them too).

So when her best boy asked her one evening if she could
Just come out for half an hour and walk about the wood
Her Ma says, 'There's no reason, my dear, why you should not
But mind you keep on walking!' Eh, what-what-what-what-what.
Performed by Marie Lloyd (1870-1922)
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