Listen all you single fellows,
I’ve a little tale to tell
I am married and I know it,
Don’t the clothes I’m wearing show it?
What with dodging blessed brokers,
Butchers, bakers in galore
Oft I ask myself the question
“What did I get married for?”

Chorus: Why did I leave my little back room in Bloomsbury?
Where could I live on a pound a week in luxury?
In my single days it was warm,
But when I married Maria
I jumped out of the frying pan
Into the blooming fire!

In my single days, lor lummy
Oh, the comforts that I get
My landlady dear old creature
Studied me in every feature
Down at Brighton on a Sunday
I was quite a “Dossy” spark
Now I push a perambulator
Filled with kids all round the Park.


Once upon a Winter’s morning
I had breakfast up in bed
Tucked in Oh so nice and cosy
Single life was very rosy
Oh the difference since I married
Now my children number four
They get all the sheets and blankets
I get pushed out on the floor.


Once I smoked the best Havanas
Now I can’t get three-p’nny shag
Then. I dined and tipped the waiters
Now I’m glad of fish and “Taters”
Oh to think of bygone pleasures
What a mug I must have been
I might as well be dead and buried
Oh, God save our gracious Queen!

Written and composed by A.J. Mills & Frank W. Carter - 1898
Performed by Alf Chester (d. 1925)
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