Johnson is a lucky man, I said he is, you know he is
He's up to nearly every kind of biz, I said he is, you bet he is
He is a married man, upon my life, but he's got a most original wife
He gets boozed, does just what he may like,
But his old woman never gets the spike

Chorus: Would you like to know the reason?
She never grumbles? Ain't it rum
She never grumbles, not a grumble
Poor girl, she's deaf and dumb.

Johnson went to try and back a horse
He did of course, upon the course
And when he got upon the course, he backed a horse, he did of course
Put a fiver on a 'bookie' chap
When the race was run he did a 'cellar-flap'
Went to the 'bookie' to get paid, you see
But 'bookie' wouldn't pay him - no not he.

Chorus: Would you like to know the reason?
He wouldn't pay him, what a sin
He wouldn't pay him, not a pay-pay
His horse, it didn't win.

Johnson went and bought a bassinette
He did, you bet, a bassinette
But his wife was terribly upset because he bought a bassinette
He took it home, as happy as can be
Thought his missis would be pleased you see
She flew at him like a cat would at a mouse
Wouldn't have the bassinette inside the house

Chorus: Would you like to know the reason?
She put Johnson in a fog
She wouldn't have the bassinette there
They'd only got a dog.

Performed by Sam Mayo (1875-1938)
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