One Sunday morn I said to my wife, Rose
I'm going down the Lane to buy myself a suit of clothes
Off I started with a dollar in my 'kick'
Made up like a millionaire in half-a-tick
Went in a pub at the corner of the street, a lot of my pals I saw
As soon as they caught sight of me they began to roar,

Chorus: 'Yer 'at don't fit yer very well
And yer whiskers they are shaggy
But yer do look a don with your new suit on
And yer trousers, ain't they baggy
We don't mind the colour of yer tie, old man
Love me, you're a swell
But there's one thing about yer we don't like
Yer 'at don't fit yer very well.'

Once I gaily toddled to the Lord Mayor's Show
But you'll never kid your 'umble there again, oh no
Some girls in the crowd said to me 'Tut Tut
We can't see, so kindly shift your nut.'
I stood waiting in the very first row
When the Lord Mayor he passed by
He stood up in his carriage, and he then began to cry


I had a letter from my girl to say
'Call on me tomorrow if you're coming round our way.'
Round I went to see my darling Flo
Made up as strong as mustard from my 'pimple' to my toe
When I got in the room she said to me
'I like that suit of yours.'
Then all at once the parrot started shouting,'Jolly wars,


Last night I had a row with my old man
He passed a rude remark about the 'penny-on-the-can'
To make matters worse , he laughed and said
'You might have been good looking if it wasn't for yer head.'
In came uncle with his phonograph. The kids began to shout
But as soon as I looked at that machine it started singing out

Written and composed by F. Allsopp & C. Yorke - 1904
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
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